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the letting go

Over the holidays, I was talking with someone whom I trust a great deal about "letting go". You know, it's the time of year that you reflect on what's happened and look forward to what can be and though I wasn't talking about that particular thing with this person, I thought the conversation was timely. We were actually talking about the past and how some people feel that to move on you have to "forget" about what's happened in order to move forward peacefully and with a smile.

But here's the thing about the past, at least for me. Just because I forgive for what's happened in the past or apologized for my own actions in a situation doesn't mean I forget or expect others to forget the instance. My past has made me who I am and though I may move on from people, situations and things, I don't forget anything. To me that's not holding on. To me holding onto pain from the past would mean to continue to be broken, to hold grudges, to move through life with anger. I don't think I do that... and though I may have problems in some relationships, I don't think the issues in those relationships stem from holding onto some form of anger or resentment. I think problems in relationships stem from the inability to change with time. People get stuck and have trouble changing their ways. I think that knowing a problem but the inability to change your actions to make it better cause problems in relationships when both parties have agreed to try to make something work.

For the record, the conversation was a good one, it was with agreement on both sides and both myself and the person I was speaking to felt like letting go simply meant forgiving and moving on and that maybe other people had different definitions. It was actually, for me, an eye opening conversation and one I could have only had with someone close to me. Someone I trust. So thanks...

I just thought that it was interesting to hear how differently people can define letting go, moving on and how it can affect a relationship.

Today's Tweets

nicole
7 hours ago
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18:21 L is asleep (early). So I'm getting some in-n-out and then back to bed to relax so I feel well enough for tomorrow's brunch w/ the friends. #
18:25 Ugh... Always such a long line here. twitpic.com/ve5zd #

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Touched By His Noodly Appendage

LeendaDLL
10 hours ago
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Nate - Touched By His Noodly Appendage

Green Christmas

Hannahbanana
11 hours ago
2 comments

drip

Father Christmas brought everyone what they wanted, but Mother Nature didn't bring us any snow.

Well, Yeah....

LBeeeze
11 hours ago
9 comments

Well, yeah....

Buffalo

I'm only goin' as far as Buffalo....

But I don't wanna be a pirate!

LeendaDLL
11 hours ago
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Actually, I do. SO glad I bought this stupid "slutty pirate" costume when I saw it on sale. I KNEW I'd find a reason to wear it.

Being cold out, I'm also wearing leggings. And simply flats rather than slut shoes. The first pair of flats I donned had cross straps and I looked like some freaky, BAD, ballerina pirate hybrid. Now I just look like a fool (or a waitress at Jolly Roger's.... are those still around? Anyone else remember them?) and fool is what I was going for.

Gonna grab some cheap champagne and head up to Hollywood and hope this food fight goes off.

Ouch

LeendaDLL
14 hours ago
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I just went on a shopping spree for work pants and it included a pair in the largest size I've ever bought... 26. Eeeegads!!

I've bought shirts that large before, cause I wanted them giantly oversized, but never pants. And never ever pants that fit.

On the bright side, they were on sale for $8.13.

I got a sweater/jacket for about the same price in size 30/32... massively oversize but I like the super loose fit. I also got a negligee, though I've got no one to wear it for. But that's what happens during good sales!! I ended up with 5 or 6 pair of work slacks (all black or grey base color), 1 pair of sweat/lounge pants (dark grey), 1 print sweater/jacket (giraffe or leopard print), 1 casual jacket (black), and 1 nightie (black w/floral) for about $160... not bad.

I once read that a sign of being ashamed of your weight is buying all black. But I buy dark bottoms, and jackets, because they're easier to mix.

I haven't tried on my Newport-News sweater or slacks yet cause I tried the jacket and it's about a billion sizes too large. I ordered it in calf-length and it hangs to the floor. It looks like a gigantic ugly robe. I thought it was supposed to be reversible fleece but the black side is ultrasuede and has the leopard print showing through all the seams. It looks like it's inside out. On the leopard print side, it's an oddly colored print - looks okay in dim lighting (or dark rooms) but icky in light. Such a total disappointment!!! I'm really hit & miss with Newport-News... some things are great, others suck hardcore.

I didn't got to the champagne tasting today. I wasn't feeling it and definitely wasn't going to buy any champagne so it seemed like a big "Why Bother?"

Now I'm killing time till the spaghetti food fight. Only 6 RSVPs but he says its still gonna happen. I still plan to wear my pirate outfit. Cheap beer is being supplied but that won't get me buzzed enough to food fight so I'm planning to bring cheap champagne.

...if I knew then what I know now, I still never never never never would've seen that comin'...

M-----l
14 hours ago
2 comments

Here is my favorite Vic Chesnutt memory: The first time I ever saw Vic in concert, I was very surprised to notice that we were wearing identical shirts. I'm not talking about the same R.E.M. concert tee or something like that; I'm talking about the same dark blue long-sleeved button-up collared shirt with thin white lines criss-crossing across it. The chances of two people wearing that shirt on the same night at the same venue...well, I don't really know what the chances were. I'd say very small. Later on in the same evening, he sang "Gravity of the Situation" and I cried like a stupid fucking baby.